


to be chosen (to be a liar)

by fanficloverme96



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Backstory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, HARUKA'S BACKSTORY MADE ME CRY OK HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO GET HURT, Insecurity, One Shot, also I really like him and Aya's friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/fanficloverme96
Summary: Haruka could have lived without ever being adopted. Truth to be told, that wasn’t his main goal - though, it would have been nice to have someone he could call a “Dad”.All he wanted - so much that it ached on most days - was for that person to say how proud he was of him.[set after Part 3 and Zool's backstory]





	to be chosen (to be a liar)

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, this was set after Part 3 and information from Zool's backstory was used. No major spoilers involving the anime-only cast, but plenty of spoilers for Zool, specifically Haruka.

Tsukumo Ryo told him a lot of things about idols.

* * *

 

 

-

 

Zool’s performance ended with loud screams from the audience.

 

Haruka stared back at his fans almost impassively; he couldn’t muster the effort to really smile, though he tried to. It wasn’t for his sake, however. He glanced at Touma, who waved and grinned at the crowd earnestly, happiness and satisfaction radiating from his face.

 

It was for Touma’s. The boy was always so earnest about performing that Haruka would always feel bad if he didn’t at least try to show some of his own, as much as this fact irritated him. He didn’t become an idol to have fans.

 

He just wanted revenge.

 

But Touma, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit, was a dear friend to him. He didn’t mind all members of Zool, but Touma was someone who put the most effort to understand him. Haruka, at the very least, appreciated it even if he felt further away from his members on a lot of days.

 

Haruka stood on stage, and tried his damn hardest to seem sincere. His fans loved him, or so they claim. He should at least pretend to love them back.

 

After all, idols were good at lying, Tsukumo once said.

* * *

 

 

-

 

The rest of Zool went back to their green room, getting ready to leave for the night. Haruka, instead, decided to linger around the studio.

 

“Are you sure?” Touma asked, “We have another performance tomorrow. You should get as much rest as you can.”

 

“You have school tomorrow, as well, don’t you, Isumi-san?” Minami pointed out, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

 

“I won’t be long,” Haruka muttered, “I just want to walk around for a bit.”

 

Torao, already slinging his duffle bag over his shoulders, smirked. “Trigger’s pre-recording is next, I hear. Don’t tell me you want to watch them.”

 

Haruka glared at him heatedly, already tensing. “Shut up. That’s stupid.”

 

“Alright, alright.” Touma held up his hands. “No need to fight. We’re all tired. Let’s just go home.” He turned to Haruka again. “Don’t be long, kid.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

After Zool finally left, Haruka stood in the empty room for a brief moment before walking out, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets. His shoulders were sore and in all honesty, Haruka really did feel like just going home and sleep.

 

His empty home, but home nevertheless. It had his bed, at least. He could ignore the rest.

 

He could hear music even from the hallways and the familiar tune had an almost immediate effect on him. It was Trigger’s Daybreak Interlude - the song the group had performed during the MOP and won, beating IDOLiSH7. The performance was spectacular, something which Haruka had trouble admitting.

 

The song made his hackles rise, but it also made his heart race, because of the memory of watching Tenn perform on stage reminded him of how… _cool_ Trigger was. How cool _Tenn_ was.

 

Haruka hated Tenn, but somewhere deep in his heart, he couldn’t help but to admire him. Kujou was right about one thing.

 

He was _perfect._

 

But that fact alone was always enough to anger and frustrate Haruka, enough to override any feelings of admiration towards the older boy. Tenn’s perfection and earnesty towards his fans reminded him of his own failures and insincerity.

 

Kujou was also right about another thing.

 

Haruka could never reach his fans. Even if he tried.

 

“Dammit it all,” Haruka growled underneath his breath, gritting his teeth. “Dammit --!”

 

His knuckles hurt. Haruka belatedly realized that he had punched the wall in his anger. His hand hurt so badly, and Haruka could see the bruise already forming around his knuckles. He looked at his hand impassively, his mind empty aside from the anger and frustration he felt in his heart.

 

Staying here was a mistake. He needed to go. Now.

 

He turned.

 

“Haru-chan?”

 

Haruka blinked, unable to believe his eyes. Standing in front of him, clutching a small bag with her tiny hands, was Aya herself.

 

_“Acchan?”_

* * *

 

 

-

 

Aya’s hair was longer than he remembered, Haruka thought absently as they walked side by side down the hallway in silence. It touched her shoulders now and Haruka spied tiny braids in her hair. She got taller, too.

 

“What are you doing in Japan?” he finally asked. “Is…” he hesitated, “Is _he_ here?”

 

Aya smiled slightly, as if knowing who he was referring to. She shook her head. “I went here alone this time. Otou -- Kujou-san had business to attend, and I wanted to see Tenn-nii-chan.”

 

“Heh. Not your _real_ onii-chan?” Haruka asked snidely.

 

Aya paused in her steps. She turned to him, her expresion serious. Haruka thought he saw her lips quivered.

 

“I see that you know,” she said quietly.

 

Haruka scoffed. “It’s never a secret. Not with the kind of people I’m with.” With a producer like Tsukumo Ryo, Haruka knew a lot of dirty secrets of the entertainment world. Even the ones he wished he never knew. “Besides,” he stuffed his hands inside his pocket, “That kid Tamaki always said he became an idol to find his sister. And you two look alike, so it’s an easy puzzle to piece together.”

 

Aya was silent for a moment. Haruka wondered if he had hurt her feelings.

 

“I see,” she said instead after a while, “Then, I guess it can’t be helped.” She continued walking then, glancing at Haruka as if motioning him to follow.

 

“I can’t see him, to answer your question,” Aya added when Haruka caught up with her within several steps, “I promised Kujou-san I wouldn’t.”

 

“That sounds like him,” Haruka muttered. “And you’re an idiot for agreeing to something like that.”

 

Aya smiled softly. “You’re not the only one who told me that.”

 

She said nothing more, and Haruka didn’t ask again. It was not his business to pry, and it would be hypocritical for him to judge, anyway. If he had been in Aya’s shoes, or rather, if he was still under Kujou’s tutelage, he would have agreed to the same demands if it meant he could gain his approval.

 

If he had to promise to not see his grandmother again in exchange for a new father and a bright future, it was something he could seriously consider.

 

Haruka was not exactly proud of this truth, but it’s a truth all the same.

 

After all, idols were good at hurting people, Tsukumo’s voice whispered in his mind.

* * *

 

 

-

 

Trigger was still performing when the pair reached the main performance hall. It had probably been several takes already, judging from the fatigue clear on the staff’s expression.

 

Tenn didn’t show it, if he was fatigued in the first place. From where he stood, Haruka could hear the clarity of his voice and see the flawlessness of the execution of his steps. It was as if he was performing for the first time. His energy was relentless.

 

It pissed Haruka off, but it awed him at the same time.

 

“Trigger’s cool as always,” Aya said in an awed tone, “I want to stand on stage as cool as Tenn-nii-chan one day.”

 

“He’s okay,” Haruka mumbled, crossing his arms.

 

Aya side-glanced him. “Haru-chan is cool on stage, too,” she whispered.

 

Haruka scoffed, clearly unbelieving. “Thanks, I guess, but you never saw any of Zool’s lives, I bet.”

 

“I did,” Aya replied softly, “Tenn-nii-chan sent a video of your performance to me, once.”

 

This made him widen his eyes in surprise, and he turned to face her properly. His expression was incredulous and full of disbelief. Aya stared back at him calmly, tilting her head as she regarded him.

 

“You’re lying,” Haruka said at last, “Why would Kujou Tenn do that?”

 

Aya stared at him briefly before reaching into her bag. Haruka watched her rummaging through it before her hand fished out her cell phone - light blue, brand new, and had a clover keychain hanging at the end of it - and tapped on the screen. The screen lit up, shining a bluish light on Aya’s face in the darkness of the performance hall.

 

She tapped on her screen a few more times before finally turning the phone towards Haruka.

 

“It was around a week ago,” she explained, “He sent me a rabbit chat with this video attached to it.”

 

Haruka took the phone from Aya’s hands and looked at the screen. He saw an open chatroom with a conversation between Aya and Tenn - labelled as _Tenn-nii-chan!_ at the top of the chatroom - and sure enough, Tenn sent two messages. One was a video attachment. The other was a short caption underneath the video.

 

**_You can learn from them, Aya._ **

 

With a shaking hand, he clicked on the video, after having made sure the phone’s volume was on low.

 

The video took half a second to load before it began to play.

 

The first thing he saw was himself, starting out the first bridge of Zool’s single, Look At. He couldn’t hear the crowd and noticed that his clothes wasn’t all that extravagant, either, so it must have been a rehearsal rather than an actual performance. He saw the rest of Zool - Touma with his loud presence beside him, Minami with his quiet, indulgent smile, and Tarao with his confident gaze. There was no crowd yet his members looked as if they were performing in front of one.

 

Then, he heard himself sing.

 

Haruka never really paid too much attention on how he sings - he knew he was good at it from the praises he received around him. After the incident with Kujou, Haruka never really bothered to put much effort in really hearing himself sing. Back when he was still under Kujou’s tutelage, he was so critical and paid extra attention to every note he sang and _how_ he executed them. Now, he barely cared. If people said he was good, then that was enough.

 

But now -

 

“I can see why you’re made center,” said Aya, “Your voice really draws people in.”

 

Haruka gritted his teeth, and tightened his grip on Aya’s phone. He suddenly felt cold all over and his heart pounded faster. His eyes remained trained on the screen, watching the him in the video continue to sing his heart out. Haruka looked so _earnest_ in that video; more earnest than he has ever felt in his entire life. If there was a crowd, Haruka could imagine them cheering for him and the rest of Zool.

 

And yet,

 

He shoved the phone back into Aya’s hands and spun on his heels, not missing the surprised look on his friend’s face. He ran out of the door just as Aya began to call his name.

 

Idols can do nothing but crash and burn, Tsukumo reminded him, and seeing that video and remembering Kujou’s words to him made Haruka believed Tsukumo’s words to be true.

* * *

 

 

-

 

The cool air felt like slap on his face, but he welcomed it anyway.

 

Breathing heavily, he sank into a half-crouch, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He had ran out of the performance hall and went towards any direction without thinking about it, and the next thing he knew, he was in another waiting room. Fortunately, it was empty.

 

Strength finally leaving his legs, he sunk to his knees and bowed down onto the floor, his hands clenched into tight fists. In his chest, his heart pounded loudly and he could hear every heartbeat clearly. He felt his vision blurring and tears stung the corner of his eyes.

 

His throat hurt.

 

“Dammit,” he choked out. “Dammit, dammit, dammit!”

 

Kujou’s words rang in his mind in an endless loop, the scenario a year ago playing in his mind. The unconcerned face of the man who promised to adopt him if he did well, only to throw him aside after he found a more perfect being than Haruka could ever hoped to be.

 

_“I have no use for a failure.”_

 

Haruka slammed his fists onto the floor, ignoring the pain that came with the act. Tears managed to slip out from his eyes, and the pain in his throat grew as the sob threatened to rise out of it.

 

Idols don’t have real feelings, Tsukumo had once said, and whatever emotions they displayed on stage are all for show, but the pain and anger he felt right now were realer than anything he has ever experienced.

 

Haruka couldn’t recognize the boy in the video that Aya showed him. That boy showed sincerity in his performance. That boy showed promise. The Haruka who sang his heart out during the rehearsal was _honest_.

 

The Haruka he was right now was nothing but a liar.

 

He heard footsteps behind him before they hesitated, eventually stopping just beside him. He turned to see a pair of shoes beside him. He recognized those white-ribboned shoes anywhere;

 

“Haru-chan?”

 

“Go away,” Haruka said, his voice hoarse in an attempt not to cry, “I don’t want to see you right now.”

 

He saw a white handkerchief in front of him, held by a tiny, delicate-looking hand. That was the same hand which he once held during fun walks in the park after lessons, back when he was still living overseas. That was the same hand who gave him Japanese cookies when he missed home and craved a sense of familiarity. The same hand who hesitated to let him go when he went back to Japan after the disastrous encounter with Kujou.

 

“Here,” Aya offered. When Haruka lifted his head to meet her gaze, the girl was smiling slightly. “You don’t want to ruin your handsome face with swollen eyes, do you?”

 

Haruka managed to snort. He moved into a proper sitting position on the floor, crossing his legs. He wiped his eyes as he accepted the handkerchief. The cotton material felt soft in his hands, and he could see an embroidery of a sakura at the side, along with initials.

 

_Y.T._

 

The corner of Haruka’s lips lifted. He supposed he was not the only one who had trouble letting go.

 

“You didn’t have to follow me here,” he replied, staring at the handkerchief in his hands. The embroidery on it was done in amazing detail - each petal intricately sewn to the white material until the petals formed into a large blooming sakura. Aya always had a knack for sewing.

 

Just like she had a knack for everything else. Kujou was right. Aya was talented. He could see why he would adopt her in a heartbeat.

 

There was a heavy feeling in his chest the moment the thought crossed his mind, and he frowned again.

 

“You’ll miss your beloved brother’s performance,” he added, putting just enough bite into his tone.

 

Aya didn’t seem affected by it, or at least, she didn’t show it on her face if she was. She merely sat beside him and brought her knees to her chest. As she leaned her head on her knees, she turned to him, watching him with an experience akin to curiosity.

 

It unnerved him, sometimes, how calm Aya can be. It reminded him of Tenn.

 

“Trigger’s pre-recording was done not too long after you left,” she replied, “And besides…” She hesitated, biting her bottom lip. Her expression turned guilty and her gaze dropped a little. “Haru-chan, you looked upset… and I can’t just let you go knowing I probably did something to cause you to feel that way.”

 

Haruka blinked, before furrowing his brows. He sighed, and shook his head.

 

“It’s not your fault, Acchan. Don’t go blaming yourself,” he muttered, fiddling with his fingers. ‘“Idiot,” he continued, without much heat in the word.

 

Aya watched his movements in silence, her lips curved into a frown.Fiddling with his fingers or playing with the hem of his shirt meant that Haruka could be nervous or anxious. She had seen him done that before he had to perform for recitals or musicals when they were still living overseas.

 

“Then, why did you run out so suddenly like that?” Aya asked, “You seemed.... Distressed after watching the video, too. Did… Was there something wrong with it?”

 

Haruka laughed humorlessly at her question. “Everything,” he answered simply, “That video…” His jaw clenched. He could feel his throat tighten again. He dug his fingers into the handkerchief he was holding until he could feel his nails digging into his palm through the material of the cloth.

 

“I couldn’t recognize the me in it,” he said at last, “The Haruka who sang on stage with his members… I don’t recognize him.”

 

Aya’s expression turned confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“You said I had a voice that drew people in,” Haruka whispered, “That you could see why I was made center,” He looked down, until his eyes were covered by his bangs, effectively hiding his expression from Aya. “Maybe that’s the case for the Haruka you see in the video, but the one beside you is nothing but a liar.”

 

“Haru-chan…”

 

“Kujou-san said I could never become an idol,” he continued, which shut Aya up. Her eyes widened at his confession. “He said I couldn’t reach my fans. And for the longest time, I couldn’t believe his words. If I tried hard enough, I could do anything, right?” Haruka let out another humourless laugh. “But now, I understand.”

 

When Haruka finally looked at her again, he wore the most heartbreaking expression she had ever seen. It made her heart hurt just looking at it.

 

The smile on his face did not match the sadness radiating from his face.

 

“Unlike you, Acchan, I didn’t become an idol to please anyone,” he confessed, “I just wanted revenge. Against Tenn. Against Kujou-san. Against the world.” His bottom lip quivered, betraying his inner turmoil. “The person whom you thought was cool? That’s a lie. Kujou-san knew from the start. I _am_ a failure.”

 

Idols were doomed to fail, Tsukumo had promised him.

* * *

 

 

-

 

Aya could hear the seconds ticking by. The pair did not say a word and she had a feeling that Haruka would not want to talk, either. His earlier words rang inside her head and she had trouble processing them, if she had to be honest.

 

Haruka, as brash and mean as he seemed now, was never a liar. At least, not to her.

 

But she knew of the truth he had told her about Kujou. She remembered Tenn telling her the same thing - about Kujou once rejecting a child once under him who could have been Aya’s second adoptive brother if all went well. Haruka never told her exactly why he left for Japan the day they parted ways, but she remembered his anger. It was the same as Tenn’s underlying one after he mentioned about the rejected child.

 

Aya could piece two and two together.

 

In spite of everything, she couldn’t hate Kujou. He had given her a home - a proper one after her previous years of moving from her abusive home to an orphanage to a new family she had hoped to be her permanent one before they went bankrupt and forced Aya to go on a run. Kujou had rescued her, in every sense of the word. It came with a price - she could never see her brother and would not acknowledge him if she did - but Aya accepted it as part of life.

 

She couldn’t hate Kujou, but she understood why Haruka, and possibly her real brother, did.

 

“You knew about Onii-chan about wanting to become an idol just to find me,” she said, breaking the silence, “Right, Haru-chan?”

 

“What about it?” Haruka mumbled.

 

“I heard that his main motivation of becoming an idol was never to have fans,” Aya continued, smiling to herself, “He never cared about fame. He didn’t care for money. He just wanted to be on TV.”

 

“If you hear that without knowing the reason behind it, you might think Onii-chan was being shallow and insincere, and to be honest, I did, too,” Aya admitted, “When I heard Onii-chan only wanted to be on TV, I was even angry at him. I worked so hard to be where I was, but he only did what he did just so people can see his face on broadcast? It was stupid to think about.”

 

She let out a sigh, unaware of Haruka now looking at her.

 

“But Sougo-san told me that Onii-chan never gave up in wanting to look for me. After we got separated and he found out that I left my previous adopted family, he went crazy trying to find me. Onii-chan knew that it would be difficult, though, so he figured that if he can’t find me, I could find him.” She paused. “That was why he was so fixated on being on TV; so I could one day see him.”

 

“You did, in the end, didn’t you?” Haruka asked, “Or else, you wouldn’t even be here.”

 

Aya nodded. “I did. During the Black or White performance broadcast, I saw him on the screen.His plan worked, in the end.” She smiled. “Onii-chan is smart, after all.”

 

The clock continued to tick in the background. It was loud to both Haruka’s and Aya’s ears.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Haruka asked softly, “It’s nothing I didn’t know about.”

 

“Because,” Aya began. She brought her knees closer to her chest, as if to support herself from crumbling in from the weight of her emotions. “I asked Sougo-san once. That since Onii-chan found me, his main objective was done. So, technically, he could quit being an idol if he wanted to. I don’t know what his real dreams were, but I know that being an idol wasn’t it. Sougo-san admitted that Onii-chan disliked the responsibility and expectations that came with it.”

 

“But,” Aya let out a breath. “Onii-chan didn’t quit. As you can see, he is still where he is now. With the rest of IDOLiSH7. And I… I wondered why he stayed.” She turned to Haruka, a smile on her face. “Do you know what Sougo-san said?”

 

“What?” Haruka asked, though he could possibly guess the answer to that question.

 

The smile on Aya’s face grew. It lit up her expression, and Haruka was reminded of the brief, happy days they shared before everything fell apart.

 

“Onii-chan grew to love being an idol,” Aya answered, “He made new friends from it, and he grew to love the fans. He even started to be more polite to the people around him,” Aya said with a laugh. Her expression grew fond. “It made him a better person, and Onii-chan realized this. Being an idol was probably never his dream, but it became something he grew to love and understand.”

 

Haruka was quiet, unable to say anything.

 

“We all have our reasons to be who we are right now,” Aya whispered, “But I’ve always believed that it doesn’t matter how we started, but rather how we continued with the path we’ve chosen. Haru-chan, you said you became an idol to get revenge.” She looked at him carefully. “But that wasn’t always the case, was it?”

 

There was a lump in Haruka’s throat, and he felt his vision getting blurry again. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying.

 

“Haru-chan… there was a time where you earnestly wanted to become an idol, wasn’t there?” Aya paused, “Or rather… there was a time when you wanted to become the person Kujou-san wanted you to be.”

 

“I just - ” Haruka said, a sob rising out from his throat before he could stop it. Tears leaked out from his eyes and his chest hurt. “I just wanted him to tell me he’s proud of me!”

 

He angrily wiped the tears away but more keep flowing down his cheeks and his shoulders shook from the sobs which racked his body. It frustrated him, crying so much like this, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wrapped his arms around himself, his head bent downwards. He squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling to look at Aya.

 

“I worked so hard,” he continued with a choked sob, “I did everything he wanted. I put aside so much just so I could be the person Kujou-san wanted. I wanted to be _perfect._ ”

 

Haruka could have lived without ever being adopted. Truth to be told, that wasn’t his main goal - though, it would have been nice to have someone he could call a “Dad”.

  
  
All he wanted - so much that it ached on most days - was for that person to say how proud he was of him.

 

And yet,

 

“I didn’t want to be famous. I didn’t care if I’m not number 1 in Japan. I just--,” Haruka bit his bottom lip.. “I just wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to _choose me.”_

 

“ _I’m_ proud of you, Haru-chan.”

 

Haruka snapped his head up and turned to Aya in surprise. Aya was looking him with a clear gaze, and she reached out to pat his head. In his surprise, he let her.

 

“You’re doing really well, Haru-chan,” Aya said, a gentle smile on her face, “Your dreams did come true in the end, didn’t they? You get to stand on stage, and you have fans who genuinely adore you. Even Tenn-nii-chan thought so or else he wouldn’t have send that video to me.” Her hand on his head stilled, before it moved to his cheek, Her thumb brushed away one lone tear from his right eye.

 

“You achieved that all on your own, Haru-chan,” she added, her voice determined, “You may call yourself a liar, but believe me when I say this, when you’re on stage, you were the most honest you that I have ever seen. You don’t need Kujou-san’s validation.” Her expression is bright as she smiled wider. “You did really well on your own. I’m really proud of you.”

 

Her words broke the last barrier in Haruka’s heart and the sobs that he held down came tumbling out. He choked before fresh, fat tears rolled down his cheeks, now flushed from all the crying. He leaned his body forward as he continued to cry in earnest in front of Aya, not caring how loud his sobs were.

 

All the while, Aya remained by his side, rubbing circles on his back. She didn’t say anything. She just let him cry.

* * *

 

 

-

 

When Trigger entered their dressing room after a briefing with the directors, Tenn was the first one to see the sight in front of them, followed by Gaku and Ryuunosuke. Tenn’s cat-like eyes widened, as he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 

Aya looked at him and held a finger to her lips, her hand continuing to pat Haruka’s hair. His head was on her lap as he lay on the floor, still.

 

He had fallen asleep.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“Haru-chan?”

 

“Just take it! Argh, this is so embarrassing.”

 

Aya blinked as Haruka stood in front of the front door of her house, holding out a bag of cookies towards her face. The bag was tied with a blue ribbon, complete with a sticker of a clover at the centre.

 

Aya let out a little laugh. Haruka’s always been the one for details.

 

Haruka flushed harder. “Quit laughing, Acchan,” he grumbled, “I worked hard on them. If you’re not going to take them, I’ll leave.”

 

Aya took the bag from him, feeling the warmth of the cookies in her hands. They looked fresh, and Aya wondered how recently these were made. Upon closer inspection, she realized they were red velvet cookies. Her favorite.

 

“Thank you,” she said.

 

“They’re just…” Haruka shifted on his feet, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “They’re just payment.”

 

Aya blinked again. “For what?”

 

Haruka rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, clearly embarrassed. “For the other day…” he muttered, avoiding her gaze. “For listening to me complain. You didn’t… you didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Ah,” was All Aya said.

 

“You even called my members for me to pick me up when I was asleep, so… I’m grateful.”

 

“Actually,” a familiar disembodied voice replied. It made Haruka’s hackles rise instinctively, though he fought hard to keep his glare down. Tenn appeared beside Aya, looking uncharacteristic with the airpron tied around his neck. There was a dishcloth in his hand. “I called them,” Tenn clarified, “I couldn’t leave a colleague to sleep at a music station, now can I?”

 

“Why? Because it’s unprofessional?” Haruka bit back.

 

“Because he cared, Haru-chan. Don’t be mean,” Aya scolded with a pout.

 

Haruka stared at Tenn disbelievingly, who stared back impassively. Tenn worried about him was a hard concept to grasp. Tsukumo Ryo being nice was even a more believable concept than that.

 

He sighed heavily.. He’s Kujou Tenn, after all. Anything was possible at this rate. Tenn smiled indulgently to himself, as if reading his mind.

 

“Come join us for lunch,” Tenn said, startling Haruka out of his reverie.

 

“Huh?”

 

“That’s a great idea!” Aya chimed in, “Haru-chan. Come join us for lunch! Tenn-nii-chan is great cook!”

 

 _“Huh?!”_ Haruka took a step back, shaking his head. “I rather practice 24 hours per day than to eat what Kujou Tenn cooked. No way.”

 

Aya pouted again. “Haru-chan, you’re being mean again.”

 

Haruka’s eye twitched. Aya was giving him that look again - the combination of her wide eyes and her pout was hard to resist and Haruka knew Aya knew this. He gritted his teeth, before he heaved a sigh. He ran a hand down his face.

 

“Fine,” he said.

 

“Yay--!” Aya grabbed his hand to pull him inside. “Come on! Come in, Haru-chan!”

 

“We can share the cookies, too,” Tenn said mildly, “I’m sure they taste delicious.”

 

“They’re _not_ for you, you sweet tooth--!!”

* * *

 

 

-

 

Tsukumo Ryo told him a lot of things about idols.

 

Idols were liars.

 

Idols could only hurt people.

 

Idols could never be happy.

 

As Haruka bit into the lasagna that Tenn cooked, and fought hard to not to express how _delicious_ it was because he knew Tenn was watching,

 

As he poked out his tongue at the Kujou siblings and said it was the worst thing he tasted,

 

As he avoided a tomato slice being thrown at him by an indignant Aya,

 

As he laughed, earnestly for the first time in a long while, he couldn’t help but think --

 

Being an idol was one of the best thing he had done in his life. It was a decision he came to love over time.

 

Aya was right. He didn’t need Kujou to choose him.

 

Haruka chose himself, in the end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, when Zool was introduced in Part 3, I wasn't really feeling them. Touma was likeable enough, but I felt little connection with the rest of the members. I even hated Tarao on first sight lolol.
> 
> But after their backstory was revealed, I kinda empathized and sympathized with them, especially Haruka. MY PRECIOUS BOY DID NOT DESERVE TO BE HURT THIS WAY. DAMN YOU, KUJOU TAKAMASA. Also! Haruka and Aya's friendship is so cute >W< I hope we get to see more of them in Part 4.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or comment if you liked the story! You can also find me at @yoonminoml on Twitter!


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